The Internet Has Eyes

Earlier this year I endeavored to read George Orwell’s classic novel “Nineteen Eighty-four”. The novel follows protagonist Winston Smith who lives in a socialistic nation known as Oceania (which consists mostly of Great Britain). The government of Oceania constantly watches and monitors its citizens to see that they are always doing what they should and not doing what they should not. No words or actions against the government’s leader Big Brother will be tolerated. Chastity is forced. Occupation is chosen and forced. Big Brother’s version of morality is forced. Punishment for breaking the laws of Oceania is swift, frightening and without trial, judge or jury. Citizens simply disappear and are never heard from again taken by the Secret Police. Big Brother has even constructed a form of speech called Newspeak (as opposed to Oldspeak) that promotes the highest efficiency and removes expression and art so that speech is merely a medium to say what you have to say and then get on with it. In Nineteen Eighty-four, Newspeak is described as “the only language in the world whose vocabulary gets smaller every year.” Phrases and even sentences are reduced to single words. The idea is that if a certain sentiment can not be spoken then it can not be thought thus reducing so-called “thoughtcrime” which was illegal. Another example of newspeak would be Ingsoc (meaning English Socialism), the political postion of the Party, the leader of whom is Big Brother.

He Loved Big BrotherOne of the most frightening notions introduced in the novel is that all video screens are two way. Like an electronic two-way mirror, a citizen can be watching his favorite television program but embedded in the set is a camera that he can not see whereby Big Brother watches him. In Oceania When you are near a telescreen you learn how to act. I do not mean behave. I mean “ACT“. You put on a smile. You do you duty without a single hint of anything out of the ordinary. Big Brother may be watching. Or maybe he is not. How do you know? One wrong reaction to a Big Brother propagandized advertisement or one wrong word or deed concerning anything in the view of a telescreen and in the night the Secret Police would whisk you away to a permanent vacation and no living being will be able to certainly say that they ever saw you again.

Though not quite as dire as the situation facing the citizens of Oceania, It would seem that my computer monitor is watching me. Since last week we have been heavy into remodeling our bathroom (pictures will be posted soon) and coincidentally my website started having major issues at about the same time so that I could not post articles or receive comments. I could see no reason why this should be happening. I was just about ready to completely re-install WordPress when the site suddenly seemed to right itself. That happened today, Monday, July 21. It just so happens that we finished a major step in the bathroom remodeling process. This weekend we completed repairing the walls, installing the plumbing, and preparing the floors so that this week we are ready to install our shower, build our storage cabinet and, most importantly, install the floor tile. It is as though the Internet has eyes and seeing the amount of work we needed to complete, Big Brother hijacked my website preventing me from wasting any time playing with it when I should be working. Perhaps in Newspeak such idling way of the time on the world wide web would have been called “netwaste”.

Well I submit that would have gotten the work done anyway, with or without Big Brother. So if the internet has eyes then I defiantly give a two-fingered, 3 Stooges eyeball jab to Big Brother and say “I can accomplish my own remodeling without your meddling!” I shake my fist at you Big Brother. I say you’re nothing more than a cotton headed ninny muggins.

Did I just hear someone at the door?

Josh H., professional thoughtcriminal


1 Response to “The Internet Has Eyes”

  1. July 26, 2008 at 7:52 pm

    Very funny, Monk. I just wanted you to know that I’m watching you. I hijacked the internet and made you work so hard that we got all that stuff accomplished faster.

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