Awesome (and not-so-awesome), Hypothetical Bands

what are the most awesome hypothetical names of bands that you can think of, and what type of music would that band play?

In an effort to help me break writer’s block, Heather wants to know what sort of awesome (hypothetical) bands can I come up with including the type of music they would play.

Just to keep things interesting, one of the bands I am going to submit is actually a real band. See if you can spot which one (no Googling allowed!!).

Full Glass Moon

I could not let a discussion of bands and band names go by without mentioning Full Glass Moon.

Full Glass Moon would be one of those bands that fly a little under the radar yet those who know where to look for great indie music will find them. FGM would feature a classic rock style that showcases guitar virtuosity, expertly executed vocal harmonies, and a somewhat serious subject matter (life, love, loss, redemption). The guitarist’s clever use of digital delay and reverb give their sound a roomy, airy feel that gives the impression of other-worldliness.

G. Love and Special Sauce

G. Love and Special Sauce would be a neo-jazz combo but with a fun whacky side. The sloppy blues playing and funny band member nicknames (e.g. G. Love) would cause listeners to at first dismiss the small fringe group as goofballs but upon closer listen their true talent would be revealed.  Album titles such as “Front Porch Loungin'” would express their laid-back, fun-loving sound. 

Lew (pronounced like Lou)

 Lovers of 90’s grunge would enjoy this no-nonsense five-piece.  Lew implements straightforward rock sensibilities (i.e. infectious hooks, well-played leads, and a passionate vocal delivery) but with decidedly Seattle qualities.  These would include the use of octaves (think “Cherub Rock” by Smashing Pumpkins), hook-y riffs (think “Alive” by Pearl Jam), serious lyrical subject matter, and plenty of dropped-D tuning (think “Spoonman” by Soundgarden) to go around. Their first album, which would nearly single-handedly reboot the Seattle sound, would be titled “Honey Drip.” 

The Constants

The Constants would be a 4 piece two-guitar outfit that delivers a radio-friendly alternative sound.  Their lyrical content would express their worldview on everything from dealing with people to life and happiness but would do so through sci-fi themes and extraterrestrial imagery.  While the chord progressions of The Constants’ music would be nothing new, their use of arrangements, dynamics, and guitar-layering would add a unique twist.  Start-stop dynamics, cleverly placed guitar riffs, moments of quiet giving way to walls of sound, and the emotional tenor of the vocalist would be the hallmarks of this little group. Their first album “A Time to Save Your Life” would perform well on the charts, but it would be the band’s sophomore effort “Canon in Q” which would catapult them into world stardom riding the success of the radio single “Don’t Look Now (Told Ya Not to Look).” 

These are the only ones that I could come up with such extensive information about. Some other band names though (if anyone’s interested) that I have thought of are Silverston, Panthenon (a fusing of the words parthenon and pantheon), Kharma Dagger, Pulsefire, Tick-Tock Cowboys, and The Whereabouts.

Pretty much you can put any two unrelated nouns/adjectives together and get a pretty decent band name. And every now and then it helps to throw out a “The _______s” kind of name.


13 Responses to “Awesome (and not-so-awesome), Hypothetical Bands”

  1. April 22, 2009 at 9:05 am

    Ok, I’m thinking the real band is either Full Glass Moon or The Constants. I could be wrong, though. You just seemed to put more real musical description with those two. And for some reason, Full Glass Moon sounds very familiar to me… I just have never liked anything about moons, space, butterflies (just thought I’d throw that one in there as well)… so I vaguely remember being repulsed by a band name that had something to do with a moon.

    Names I like the best: The Constants, Lew, Panthenon, and The Whereabouts.

    Sounds I like the best: Lew, The Constants, and though I don’t like their name,Full Glass Moon. (I guess that only leaves one out.)

    Do any of these bands sing songs about coffee or radios? For some reason I have a weakness for songs about coffee (though I do not like it) and radios. Oh, and waitresses/restaurants.

    So, would you be a member of any of these bands? If you had to pick one, which?

  2. April 22, 2009 at 9:15 am

    I am not into music enough to spot the real band. But I must say that Lew sounds as though I would like them. I miss grunge.

  3. April 22, 2009 at 9:21 am

    @Hea: I also miss grunge. The nimeties were an interesting time musically.

    @Saige: coffee, waitresses; hmmmm. G-love would probably be the only one of these to have that subject matter. You might like the song Oprah by Justin Rosalino. It’s about an imaginary conversation between Oprah and St Augustine.

  4. April 22, 2009 at 10:36 am

    “G Love and Special Sauce” sounds like they should be the Weird Al Yankovic version of T-Pain or some other rapper…I don’t know…

  5. April 22, 2009 at 10:37 am

    My favorite was always Phil and the Blanks

  6. 6 ann
    April 22, 2009 at 11:00 am

    how sad is it that i know g.love and special sauce is the real band? i have an excuse though, other than my steel trap mind for pointless trivia. our pastor in little rock was a guy named grant, and he frequently signed emails (and was his email addy) g.luv. too funny!

  7. April 22, 2009 at 11:05 am

    Good job, ann! G. Love and Special Sauce is a real band.

    @Davis: oh my gosh, that was hilarious!

  8. 8 Angie
    April 22, 2009 at 11:42 am

    I’ve heard of G.Love somewhere along the way, as well. Only my steel trap is a little rusty these days.

    I love under-the-radar bands! My favorite was Kung Fu Diesel out of Parma, MI, that I first heard on one of the Lansing stations (before the morning show DJ – who regularly played stuff by local bands – got canned for a rather vulgar on-air rant when a regular caller to the show [who was usually witty and funny] went off on how “you [white people] OWE us – it was essentially a tragic day for all). I did get to see KFD play in one of the Lansing bars, got an autographed T-shirt, and bought their “Feed and Grain” CD at Wherehouse Records….

    And then I never heard anything more out of or about them. *sniffle*

  9. April 22, 2009 at 5:30 pm

    For the record, SAIGE, I was the brilliant individual who came up with Full Glass Moon; it was originally a working title for a lyric-less song I made up, but Josh and I always thought it would be a funny band name. I think he pretty much nailed the probable sound of such a band.

  10. April 22, 2009 at 5:56 pm

    Yep. That was Steve’s. I didn’t mention it in the post because folks were trying to guess the real band.

    But yeah I gotta give credit where it’s due.

  11. April 22, 2009 at 7:08 pm

    I’m not sure it’s “credit” as much as “blame”, but thanks anyway. 😉

  12. April 23, 2009 at 8:23 am

    So, I’m thinking I have heard it before then–it was just between you guys talking. It just sounded so familiar, but I couldn’t remember from where. I never forget the feeling of being repulsed by something space-y.

  13. April 23, 2009 at 8:39 am

    Hey, um, I realized right after I hit “submit” that folks might wonder how I’ve lived with myself all these years based on my comment… So, yeah. Let me change it to “outer-space-y”.

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