Archive for the 'Humor' Category

22
Apr
09

Awesome (and not-so-awesome), Hypothetical Bands

what are the most awesome hypothetical names of bands that you can think of, and what type of music would that band play?

In an effort to help me break writer’s block, Heather wants to know what sort of awesome (hypothetical) bands can I come up with including the type of music they would play.

Just to keep things interesting, one of the bands I am going to submit is actually a real band. See if you can spot which one (no Googling allowed!!).

Full Glass Moon

I could not let a discussion of bands and band names go by without mentioning Full Glass Moon.

Full Glass Moon would be one of those bands that fly a little under the radar yet those who know where to look for great indie music will find them. FGM would feature a classic rock style that showcases guitar virtuosity, expertly executed vocal harmonies, and a somewhat serious subject matter (life, love, loss, redemption). The guitarist’s clever use of digital delay and reverb give their sound a roomy, airy feel that gives the impression of other-worldliness.

G. Love and Special Sauce

G. Love and Special Sauce would be a neo-jazz combo but with a fun whacky side. The sloppy blues playing and funny band member nicknames (e.g. G. Love) would cause listeners to at first dismiss the small fringe group as goofballs but upon closer listen their true talent would be revealed.  Album titles such as “Front Porch Loungin'” would express their laid-back, fun-loving sound. 

Lew (pronounced like Lou)

 Lovers of 90’s grunge would enjoy this no-nonsense five-piece.  Lew implements straightforward rock sensibilities (i.e. infectious hooks, well-played leads, and a passionate vocal delivery) but with decidedly Seattle qualities.  These would include the use of octaves (think “Cherub Rock” by Smashing Pumpkins), hook-y riffs (think “Alive” by Pearl Jam), serious lyrical subject matter, and plenty of dropped-D tuning (think “Spoonman” by Soundgarden) to go around. Their first album, which would nearly single-handedly reboot the Seattle sound, would be titled “Honey Drip.” 

The Constants

The Constants would be a 4 piece two-guitar outfit that delivers a radio-friendly alternative sound.  Their lyrical content would express their worldview on everything from dealing with people to life and happiness but would do so through sci-fi themes and extraterrestrial imagery.  While the chord progressions of The Constants’ music would be nothing new, their use of arrangements, dynamics, and guitar-layering would add a unique twist.  Start-stop dynamics, cleverly placed guitar riffs, moments of quiet giving way to walls of sound, and the emotional tenor of the vocalist would be the hallmarks of this little group. Their first album “A Time to Save Your Life” would perform well on the charts, but it would be the band’s sophomore effort “Canon in Q” which would catapult them into world stardom riding the success of the radio single “Don’t Look Now (Told Ya Not to Look).” 

These are the only ones that I could come up with such extensive information about. Some other band names though (if anyone’s interested) that I have thought of are Silverston, Panthenon (a fusing of the words parthenon and pantheon), Kharma Dagger, Pulsefire, Tick-Tock Cowboys, and The Whereabouts.

Pretty much you can put any two unrelated nouns/adjectives together and get a pretty decent band name. And every now and then it helps to throw out a “The _______s” kind of name.

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20
Mar
09

Guess What? Kitty Butt

Sometimes you just see things in life and you think to yourself “that’s not right!”

Several nights ago it was getting on in the evening and I was unusually tired. It had been a busy day as well as a busy evening. I decided to lay down on the bed for a few minutes. I mean, it was to be bed time before long anyway and so I wanted to wind down.

Well, of course I dozed off. The last thing I remembered was Lyndsay working on some clothes or something in the room at the same time I was dozing off. I do not know how much time passed but I heard a sound. It was a clicking sound followed by a high pitched whirring sound. Then I heard…a giggle. I was laying on my stomach so I raised my head and turned to find Lyndsay holding our camera and trying not to lose all self-control to laughter. The following is the result of that camera flash.

Kitty Butt

I thought I should just go ahead and put this out there and clear the air in case anyone ever found it and tried to use it as blackmail.

06
Feb
09

Worst Fight Scene of All Time

Hate to say it, but this one is definitely a lame-o. Sorry, Kirk.

04
Feb
09

Best Fight Scene Ever

From the film “Undefeatable”. Never heard of it. But you gotta see this clip through to the end. “Yeah, SEE ya!”

26
Dec
08

Mondegreens

If you have never heard of a “mondegreen” it is a word that refers to a mishearing of the lyrics of a song or words of a poem or story such that it changes the meaning or is otherwise humorous. An example would be that from which the word originates. “The American writer Sylvia Wright coined the term mondegreen in an essay “The Death of Lady Mondegreen,” which was published in Harper’s Magazine in November 1954. In the essay, Wright described how, as a young girl, she misheard the final line of the first stanza from the 17th century ballad “The Bonnie Earl O’ Murray.” She wrote:

‘When I was a child, my mother used to read aloud to me from Percy’s Reliques, and one of my favorite poems began, as I remember:
Ye Highlands and ye Lowlands,
Oh, where hae ye been?
They hae slain the Earl Amurray,
And Lady Mondegreen.’

The actual fourth line is “And laid him on the green.” As Wright explained the need for a new term, ‘The point about what I shall hereafter call mondegreens, since no one else has thought up a word for them, is that they are better than the original.'”

A modern example is Continue reading ‘Mondegreens’

22
Oct
08

Live Television Bloopers

Thanks, Steve, for telling me about these.

Josh H.

14
Oct
08

More Crocs: This Is Too Much

This is just absolutely stupid!

Crocs are bad enough for your feet. But now Verizon Wireless sells phone cases….shaped liked Crocs. Oh and you know they’ve sold some! Will the madness never end? And the best part? They’ve dubbed them “crocs-o-dials”. They come in pink and purple. Oh joy.

See for yourself.




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