Names
If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch, they will call each other
Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara.
If Mark , Chris, Eric and Tom go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as
Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.
Eating Out
When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each throw in a $20, even though it’s only for $32.50.
None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the women get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
Money
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t need, but it’s on sale.
Bathrooms
A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, a
razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Marriott.
The average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom is 337.
A man would not be able to identify most of these items.
Arguments
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that… is the beginning of a new argument.
The Future
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
Success
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
Marriage
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change and she does.
Dressing Up
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage,
answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
Natural
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
Offspring
Ah,children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and
romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
There! That should stir up some interesting discussion.
Josh H.
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